This summer Andrew and I had the bright idea to get chickens. They are meat birds and would only take us 8 weeks to raise and then we slaughter them and we feast. I have to say, worst 8 weeks if my life. Not only were we completely unprepared both mentally and physically, but we also were not prepared for the stench that would wreak havoc on our home forever. We really never got rid if the stink, partially because we were stupid enough to put them inside until they were old enough for the outside coop and partially because the bottom of the homemade brooder was made of Chip board/osb and the piss and shit that accumulated over the few weeks was heavy and broke the bottom right out of it. This in turn allowed it to seep into the laminate flooring. Not to mention the feather dust that gets all over EVERYTHING and never goes away. We also misjudged the distance of the heat lamp and temperature of the room and almost cooked the poor little guys alive! Once we got them outside we attempted to clean the room up, however months later I’m still haunted by large amounts of feather dust in unexplainable areas of my home. As cute as they were, it wasn’t worth the trouble. If we do it again we will be keeping the little bastards outside. Their cuteness never made me even the slightest bit sad to slaughter those bitches as soon as possible. We were happy to see them go. Outside wasn’t much better. The coop was built in the middle of our yard and we planned on moving it, however it weighed much more than we had anticipated and were not able to move it. Now we had a giant chicken coop smack dab in the middle if the yard stinking up the whole damn place. The fatter the chickens got, the more unbearable the stench. Then that fateful day finally came and a were packing the fuckers into the truck for slaughtering. Happiest day of our lives. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but I was excited to try the meat and get rid of them. We get to the place and back up to the lean to on the side if the building. Watching the lady take the chickens out if the truck was both disgusting and shocking. She reached over the side, muckled onto the scrawny little legs and hauled them over the side, all the while flapping and screeching and shit flying everywhere. It was not a pretty sight. She then proceeded to hang them upside down by their feet over something that can only be described as a giant tub. Once the rack was full of hanging chickens a gigantic man covered in blood hobbled over, picked up an electric saw, similar to a sawzall, and in one swift motion sliced each chickens neck. Blood poured out into the tub. It was ridiculous. After draining for a few minutes they unhooked them and threw them into a big 55 gallon drum. All the while we stood and watched completely unable to walk away from the situation. When all of our chickens were done, we went around to wait for them to be plucked and bagged before we could pay and leave. As happy as I was to see them go, I didn’t necessarily want to watch. Although, I’m glad I saw how it happens, I probably won’t watch next time. When we left for home we put them directly into the freezer, completely unaware that they needed to hang for 24 hours to tenderize. We ate our first chicken that night and I have never in my life had anything that tough. It was horrible!!! We were nervous that all of our chickens would be that tough, so I went out and purchased a crockpot so that I could cook them low and slow with a lot of liquid. I was hoping this would save our 25 chickens and at least make them fairly edible. Next time we will do a lot of things differently, if there even is a next time. We had them slaughtered months ago and our yard still stinks!
Look at that little guy. Don’t be fooled by his cuteness. He’s the devil.