Sublime Foodie

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My Weight Loss (KINDA) Secret January 29, 2013

DSC_0072So I know no matter the shape, size, culture, ethnicity, or race, people think they need to lose weight. I have never really been big, but I have always struggled with my weight. Since I got out of the Navy I have SERIOUSLY chunked out. Not really bad to the point that it’s out of control at this point, but enough to notice. I’m pretty sure it’s mostly from drinking. I’m not a drunk or anything, but I definitely like to partake in a little beer drinking on occasion. Anyways, I have done my share of diets and fasts and pretty much everything under the sun. For a while I was doing a juice fast, it was fine, but I just really like food and also it’s ridiculously expensive and we are poor. Aside from that it takes like your entire life of making juice and cleaning the juicer. By the time you are done making and cleaning that shit you have to start all over and make your next batch! It’s great if you have the time, money, and lets be honest here, the motivation, but not for me. Then I tried this other fast type thing but you just eat small portions of specific foods at specific times for three days. The next four days you eat whatever you want, and then another three days. That wasn’t for me either. Needless to say I have tried just about everything in the book, and lets face it, I just don’t exercise no matter how much I want to. Just about the most exercise I get in a day is going up and down (very slowly) the three flights of stairs in my house. I’m just lazy. Plain and simple.

So for this to make sense I kind of have to¬† jump to another topic. My whole life I have had serious stomach issues. I have never been to a doctor, I just suffered through it all of these years and thought it was normal. Well, the older I get and the more open I become with my close, (but poor, poor friends…) about my problems, the more I have come to understand how shockingly not normal it is, at all. My father recently went to a homeopathic doctor who worked wonders on him, (my family has had amazing luck with homeopathic doctors) I decided maybe it was time to venture out and get myself fixed all up. Well, I have never gotten such alarming results in my life. I am in rough shape, let me tell you. We won’t get into that! Anyways, he prescribed this stuff SBC, and told me to take 1-3 capsules up to 3 times a day. Man, oh, man! So I have gotten much better since then, but he helped me understand in a huge way how carbs really have nothing at all to do with your weight and that it really is how you are going against them. For example, I gained so much weight after the Navy wasn’t forcing me to move, and instead I was sitting on my ass at work and at home all day long but still getting the same amount of carbs. This makes sense to me. Now I know people are always going to believe that cutting carbs works, and it does, for a period of time. I have never really heard of anybody keeping weight off after one of these fad diets, though.

Alright, back to the point. So once I realized carbs don’t matter and you have to counteract them with activity, I organized a plan that works for me. I smoke, (I know, disgusting.) so I knew I had to go easy on myself at first and work my way up to a good routine. I chose my boot camp routine because it was fairly easy for me and I have learned how to get it done very quickly. I decided also that I was still going to allow myself to eat crappy food because obviously that isn’t going to ever go away for me because it’s just not and that’s it. The food situation has changed, but it doesn’t bother me because I like all the food. When you do this for yourself, don’t be afraid to choose foods that you like, and not that are better or worse for weight loss. Forget about all of that.

My Foods:

I LOVE green apples.

I LOVE cucumbers.

I LOVE carrots.

I LOVE salad.

In order to make it better for myself, I chose to dip my apples in caramel or peanut butter, my cucumbers in Italian dressing, and my carrots in ranch. I know, I am almost defeating the purpose here. I’m not though. Just wait.

I started out with 50 jumping jacks a day, in the bathroom, right before I get in the shower, and also where nobody can see my fat flopping around.

I wake up, I usually start with an apple with caramel or peanut butter, and then do my jumping jacks and shower. Sometimes I shower first, because you should ALWAYS weigh yourself naked, dry, and before you eat anything. Let’s be real here, I’m not going to get naked and weigh myself and then go in the kitchen and eat an apple…

Then I write down my weight every single day regardless if it has changed. For lunch I have the cucumbers and carrots with dressing and ranch, OR a salad, obviously with extra dressing because it’s delicious. I try to eat a small portion of each and not stuff my face, but sometimes it happens. Don’t worry, it’s not pizza so it works.

Last, for dinner, I eat whatever the hell I want. Fast food, pizza, a home cooked meal, whatever. I always get these crazy cravings for really bad food when I’m dieting and with this diet, dinner is the time for it. Trust me, after the first couple of splurges you won’t really have cravings anymore because you aren’t restricting yourself. I usually don’t eat breakfast and sometimes I don’t even eat lunch, (many times I’m just waking up at lunch time…) and this was mostly because I was too lazy to fix something to eat. When I went shopping for apples, cukes, and carrots, I tried to cut it all up and put them in containers so they were ready to go. Then when I wake up I can grab the container of apples, grab the pre-scooped container of PB and go at it. It’s delicious, it’s easy, and when I’m done there’s no clean up. Just put the cover on and stick it back in the fridge. The best part was it wasn’t ridiculously expensive like the juicing was, either.

My Results:

I lost 10 pounds in a week. Now, I have been using words to indicate that I am not doing this anymore and there’s a reason for that. I made the mistake of starting this exactly one week before the start of Holiday Festivities. In my family, this means about 30 pounds over a three week period of time and your Christmas money is used to buy larger pants and/or maternity clothing. Yes, we’re that kind of family. So after my first week of success I thought, no big deal, this shit is working. That meant I could eat my face off and not worry because I now have a plan that works for me. I still did the jumping jacks and after a while I started increasing my numbers from 50. To my delight, after the Holidays were over……NO WEIGHT GAIN!!!!! WHAT????? I hadn’t gained anything back! I’m STILL shocked.

Your next question is, it’s January, why are you still using past tense? I started my little diet thing again for about two day and lost another two pounds. Then, my dog tripped me down the treacherous stairs and I died. No really, it was horrific. I killed my ankle…no more jumping jacks. I am now better, and about to begin this wondrous thing called Awesome Weight Loss Plan Made Up By Me. I have stuck to trying to eat well a little bit since then and still have not gained any weight back. Actually, that’s a lie…I have gained a half of a pound. Sorry.

My current food situation has been one plain egg for breakfast, and usually a salad for lunch. Sometimes I stray from this, but still, I am trying. This weeks grocery trip will be devoted to buying delicious fruits and vegetables that I love to eat.

I hope this works for you people, and I will continue posting about my progress. I hope this helps!!

Also I will get photos of my food choices on here and also show you how I set up all of my cut up foods. I try to make sure I use see through containers for better refrigerator visuals and also clean out any crap in my fridge.

GOOD LUCK!!

Alright, here are the photos of all of my delicious veggies cut up for this week!

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